Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Fed up! Warning vent in progress.
Today I am fed up - with everything. I am fed up with being fat,I am fed up with not being able to control my eating, I am fed up with telling myself that today I will be good and within hours it turns to custard, I am fed up with how much my weight effects my moods, I am fed up with the fact that I feel the most comfortable on the couch and I am too scared to get out of my comfort zone, I am fed up with turning to food when I feel fed up, I am fed up with seeing my daughter following the same food patterns as me and making her my accomplice in my eating - she is only 3 1/2, I am fed up with friends and family expecting me to fail, I am fed up with my husband for giving in to me and getting me the food I ask for, I am fed up with myself for not being strong enough to say no when he comes home with junk, I am fed up because there is so much I want to do but either can't or are to scared to attempt because of my weight, I am fed up with the fact we live in a society that doesn't allow me to be me, I am fed up with the fact I have brought into this mind set and I am especially fed up with feeling so angry about the position that I am in yet I put myself in it.
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3 comments:
omg that was so me two days ago. And you know what you'll feel better its all out..and then you can just focus on you and what you want!!!!!!
i let it all out...and then i just turned selfish because I needed to. I need to focus on me and 'stuff the world'. So now its your turn, tell the world to stuff off - forget about the past and shape you're own future the way you want it to be.
you can do it!!
*hugs*
Oh Bex. It is so good that you have a place to vent and to express how you feel. It may not stop you from getting that custard or eating something else you feel you shouldn't but at least it is a start.
Last night I asked my husband to stop bringing stuff into the house again. It has slowly been creeping back. The icecreams from the deli on the way home from the train station. The crisps bought from the bottle shop. The quick call out for pizza because we are too tired. So I said if I ask for them he is to tell me to get them myself. (I know this will make me mad but I also know I won't go and get them). I asked him if he felt like something to please have it before he gets home or try to cut back as well.
I know that we are the only ones that can make these changes, and boy they seem tough sometimes but we are worth it. You are worth it. You ARE worth it.
I hope you have a good weekend and feel a little happier today. xx
Hello, I am reading your blog for the first time. Your last posting "I couldn't have written it better myself". I remember someone saying about weight loss, "life is too short to diet" and I thought, "life is too LONG to diet" But that is exactly what it is for overweight people. I mean people who really have a problem with it. Its got to be a life time commitment, not a diet that lasts a few months, or even years. I know for me (and I'm a long way off goal) that even when I get to goal, I will still have to be in "diet mode" or else it will go straight back on. Oh to have a better metabolism. Good luck, I'm sure you can do it!! Krissy
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