First of all let me start by saying I LOVE no count!! For some reason points always did my head in and I always seem to be trying to bater with myself to find the worst food to spend my points on - thus the endless yo-yo. But No Count there is none of that you just eat the amount you need or feel like and meal over. Also I like that I might blow my allowance for the week but instead of starving like I would if I had spent all of my points in one day I just turn to no count food. So yes loving it. Couple of hiccups but feel alot more normal and not as obsessed.
Okay on to the insanity thing - last two days doing no count great then today a mini binge, the mini pig out isn't the insane part as that is part of life - the insane part is my thinking around it. I left school today on an average vibe - didn't feel good or bad about the day, picked up my daughter then some little food demon took over and this is the conversion we had:
"Come on you have had a hard day, stop at the shops on the way home."
"No, I'm okay."
"Well J deserves a treat so stop for her and while there get something for yourself."
"She doesn't need it and I am trying to save money."
"Look you have had no blow outs for two days it's about time you had one."
"Okay that makes sense." What the...?! How could it possibly make sense that I deserve to have a pig out because I had been on a roll the last couple of days.
The result J got a chocolate treat something we are trying to avoid with her and I got my Kit Kat temptation (yum!!), giant bag of cheezels (so not worth it) and topped it off with my frankenstein Jam sandwich. Go figure. I think I sort of know why my brain might have rebelled - I didn't have protein for lunch just soup and bread and I have found that over the last couple of days when my eating has been in control I have upped my protein and haven't had these thoughts. It's amazing how you can sabotage yourself because after this pig out I thought well bugger it lets have fish and chips for dinner, luckly I saved myself from continuing on this thinking and decided to blog instead. So I know that I need protein at lunch and after school and hopefully this will stop that niggling voice. Just got to figure out how to stop obvious self sabotage or why I am doing that.
About Me
- Bex
- I am 29 years old and this journey is actually all about me and actually losing the weight that appears to have taken up semi permanent residence on various parts of my body!
2 comments:
WOW this can be me! I often talk about getting petrol just so the boys can have a Freddo. What the! I know that the petrol station is a big problem with me. I was over it for a long time but it has come back now. So now I get someone else to fill up the car, or I go when I don't have the boys with me (rare) but then I don't feel the compulsion to buy myself something. Weird isn't it..
I think you have done really well to have 2 days on a roll, and soon it will be 3, then 4 then a week etc. It all starts slowly but at least you start :D
OK - time to play. Your letter is 'H'. Have fun :)
I'm glad you are loving the no count thing!
Are those kit kat temptations nice? I must say they are very 'tempting' looking on the ads.
For me personally, the only way to stop self sabotage, and it took me soo many years to work it out - was to stop the dieting thing (i.e. Geneen Roth stuff). But I'm sure it can be done, and it just takes time!
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