Yay back to a computer!!

Wow!! What an insane week and a bit. Last Tuesday we started the packing and moving to the new house (thus reason for lack of posts and being able to catch up with other peoples blogs!) and then xmas - ahem!! - and then my little boy turned one on boxing day (where has the year gone) so finally today I am able to grab a few minutes to try and catch up with myself.

House - loving the new house and the space and the area - it feels like we are on holiday even though we are just at home. Jade keeps asking if we are going back to our old house because if we are she will stay here without us!!
Xmas - Inventory - 5 pkts of scorched almonds, 4 fruit mince pies, large box of lindor balls, 3 small pkts of lindor mint balls, chocolate mud cake (birthday cake) and other numerous indulgences that are getting too scary to list.
Seb's birthday - HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LITTLE MAN - he is growing up so fast and I am going to be so sad to not be with him everyday when I go back to work *sniff sniff*
WW - Well tonight I go back. There is a local one here on Thursday nights and I know I should go and face up to my xmas inhaling of food, I am a little scared. One because I know that I have gone way up (I think all the weight I lost when I was pregnant -11kgs - is back) and two because I am a rather shy person and I get nervous going places where I know nobody - I know the leader as she is the same leader from the meeting I used to go to in the city but I don't know any people. But I need to take the bull by the horns - it will be a great way to get to know some of the people who live out this way and if I keep going to the city meetings it will be to easy to say its too far away and put off going. JUST DO IT!!!!

Well I hope everyone had a wonderful happy xmas break and enjoying the sunshine (when it comes out!!!), I will be back to report the damage and catch up on what everyone else is up to tonight.

X Bex

I GOT THE JOB!!!!!

I got the job - man some people have poker faces when interviewing and I thought I was doomed!!!!! But I will be teaching year sevens - think that is probably the year before kids go bad hehe. I am so excited - this means so many pressures taken off. We can afford the new house, I can spend more money this christmas and I am not going to go insane spending time at home. Now I can breathe and just enjoy xmas!!!!!!!

Interview Over!

Well quick note just to say interview over.....binge eating started - guess that sums up how it all went. POOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Need a buddy

I have decided that I need to look elsewhere for support and a buddy in this weight loss journey. Jeff just doesn't get it and frankly I think he is sick to death of hearing oooohhh look at this diet, I will start tomorrow, OMG I am so fat blub blub blub!! And I don't blame him we have been together for about 10 years and for at least 7 of those I have been on diet. Now he kind of just shrugs and says 'whatever'. Not that he isn't supportive cause he really wants me to succeed I just think the food/diet/exercise talk is getting him down. So I am on the look out for a buddy.

Now my mother has been my buddy and has been supportive except that she has just about finished her journey (bitch!! just joking!!!) and I think it would be nice to have someone outside of the family. So how to find one - maybe advertise in the local paper. Wonder what that ad would look like:

Wanted: Someone who is into lard busting and likes long walks on the beach. Must bring own carrot sticks and diet coke


hehehehe I think the chocolate has gone to my head.

So why then?

So why doI want to lose weight? Probably should of written this entry before today might have stopped the uncontrolable bored/anxiety binge. But hey better late than never...... here is my first five (I have challenged myself to come up with 103, why 103, I like the number three okay!) I have put them in no particular order....

1. I want to have photos that I think wow I look good instead of OMG just how many chins and rolls can you see?
2. I don't want to get diabetes - with having had gestational diabetes during both pregnancy I have a huge risk of getting Type 2 and really the only way to drop my risk is drop my weight. Say no to needles
3. I want to be a good role model for my children - especially after my daughter said to me today when we were grocery shopping "yay daddy and Seb aren't here so we can get lots of chocolate!!!!"
4. I want to enjoy summer instead of hiding away because I am too hot and everything is too tight and walking may cause thigh rubbing fire
5. I want to have GREAT SEX!!! (sorry mum!) I know Jeff loves me as I am but I am not happy as I am so our bedroom aerobics consists more of me finding ingenious ways to hide my wobbly bits

oooooooo have to add number six

6. I want to fit into my size 12 lee jeans again!! booohoooo

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO got job interview at school in Waiuku on Wednesday!! God now I have to find something to wear!!!!!!!!!!

Actions speak louder than words

But at the moment I am all about the talk and not enough about the actions. In all of this time that I have had a blog I have realised that I have all the ideas in the world and I could apply for an honourary degree in Nutrition and exercise. I know what to do, when to do it and howmuch I should be doing or having the part I am missing is how to put it into practise.

Today I feel crappy I have gotten to the point where I know I am just about to gain a whole lotta weight - you know the feeling everything feels tight - my clothes, my skin and whenever I sit I have to pull my tshirt out of my rolls and then can feel them folding over each other and over my jeans. Jeans that were a few months ago starting to look like needed replacing as they were starting to hang off my arse, now my arse is threatning to spill over the top. I am now hitching them up not because they are too big but because the fat is working its way out the top.

Oh Rebecca, Rebecca, Rebecca woo is me!!!! LOL!! Right now I have to laugh cause I may cry - I have done this to myself and am currently using every excuse in the book - kids, moving house, rejection letters, low energy, they were there and I have to eat them rather than throw them out!!!! COME ON REBECCA!!! (Insert hit to forhead!)

So I am going to go away now (no!! not to finish the bag of salt n vinegar chip my husband (aka feeder fred) brought yesterday and left sitting in full view on the bench) I am going to go away and decide why do I want to lose weight - move towards something I want instead of something I don't want (yes being a stay at home mum means I watch Dr Phil).............

Broke!!!

WE BROUGHT A NEW HOUSE!!!! Yay us! Wonderful house lots of room huge backyard and peaceful surroundings what more could we ask for. Next in my dream book a bloody job to help pay for it and size 12 lee jeans! heheheheh

This weeks weigh in was rather tragic although probably got off lightly - gained 100grams. Now I can't wait for maintenance because for the last 17 weeks I have pretty much maintained my weight give or take a kilo or so and I am so over myself and self sabotage. So my plan is to take one day at a time, forget about yesterday and plan for tomorrow.

Plan for this week: 50,000 steps by the end of the week, eat my fruit servings and track everything I eat. Small steps equals small butt.