Warning Meltdown in Progress!!

The weekend is over and I have sunk into a weight loss nightmare. You know how once you have let yourself have that one bite, that one lick and before you know it you are lying under a blanket of chocolate wrappers and empty donut containers - well that's where I am now. I thought that I was leaving this land behind but unfortunately it followed me and appears to have attached itself to any part of my body it could get a hold of. I am not quite sure how to get out of it, I keep thinking that at the bottom of the cake box there may be some infinite wisdom but no matter how many cakes I go through I still haven't found it. Exercise has also become a distant memory and my treadmill is starting to look like a great clothes line. So all in all I feel fat, overwhlemed and darn well over the whole thing.

Shall we take it from the top then?

Well this morning I lay in bed staring at the ceiling and told myself that I really should vaccum in the corners before the cobwebs took over the room and that there was no way that I was going to the weight watchers meeting this morning. Images of the weigher leaping up from her seat and screaming 'you fat cow!! Nobody in the history of WW has ever put on that much weight in one week!!'ran through my head but then I remembered that when I began WW this time I would go each week regardless of what had gone on or what I thought might happen, I would go and keep going until I left my fat arse behind. So that's what I did - I got up and went. And yes the results were bad but the world didn't collapse and nobody laughed (well not to my face anyway). Hey, so I gained 1.3 kilos, it just means this week I have to work harder and the local donut shop might go bust without my custom but I know the damage and I am facing the crimes committed.

This weekend might be a bit of a doozy (or is that boozy) a friends wedding down the line - so weekend away with only one child - the nice wee quiet baby one and an unlimited supply of wine and good food. Now usually I would think bugger it I'm away its a celebration lets have a party in my mouth but this time I am not thinking that (well gritting my teeth and trying to keep myself distracted from those thoughts - Orlando Bloom and his magic bow and arrow seems to work!) All I keep telling myself is get through this weekend and you are one step closer to your goal and for the next wedding I will look even hotter! So new day, new week - take it from the top!

You are what you eat!

There I was, 8.30 this evening and feeling like a giant wonton. I had just eaten five of them with a generous serving of fried rice and sweet and sour pork and in the back of my mind I heard the dreaded "you have a weigh in tomorrow!!" yet the part of my brain that calls the greasy, fat seemed to be screaming louder "go girl". Yeah right go girl straight to fat camp, don't pass KFC and collect the 40 piece pack!! So I knew that I needed to get real and part of getting real is sharing with any unfortuate poor soul who happens to stumble onto my blog, my journey to skinnydoom, to be able to shop in the skinny bitches shops (SBS), to be free from the call of the donut, the allure of the smell of freshly cooked bread (okay now I'm hungry!). I think by sharing I will admit things I have been to scared to admit and maybe become more accountable for why I have been overweight for most of my adult life. My motto has been 'if noone sees you eat it the calories don't count', but having this blog means that I feel like big brother is looking out for me and I had better not be caught with mock cream and icing sugar around my mouth.

I have been on Weight watchers for six weeks now. Huh! Who am I kidding?! I should rephrase that I have been going to weight watchers meetings and paying my $15.90 for six weeks now and yes I have lost a bit ofweight - 1.6kgs and I guess it isn't so bad considering that I am breastfeeding and get to eat 32 points per day - yes he will be breastfeeding until he is 15! But realistically the weight I have lost has been nothing to do with hard work, I only manage to follow program for three days out of seven and try to gt away with the least amount of exercise possible. So now I want to be healthy (and look good naked of course!). I have had enough of the zepplin in a condom look and avoiding at all costs the dreaded dressing rooms at clothing stores aka torture chambers. So here's to being honest, being real and looking sexy in a pair of size 12 levi's.